Courtesy of the Chicago Tribune (registration required), here is the Official 2004 Presidential Debate Drinking Game!

• Every time President Bush says the word "safer," take a drink. If he uses the word "democracy" in the same sentence, make it a double.
• For every John Kerry reference to the UN, have a drink.
• If Bush uses the phrase "compassionate conservative," you must chug your entire beverage.
• Take one drink for every three times Kerry points with his left hand.
• Any previously recorded Bushism, like "misunderestimate" or "subliminable," used by the president during the debate requires one drink.
• If Kerry exceeds the time limit for any response, take a drink.
• Back-to-back offenses require a double shot and a NoDoz.
• A reference by your candidate to any of the following requires one drink:
  1. Florida
  2. North Korea
  3. Axis of evil
  4. Saddam Hussein
  5. The American people
• And for an exciting twist on the game, anytime anybody mentions the word "Vietnam," everybody has to take a drink.

The author of the original piece, David Martin, hopes that "you'll reach the end of the debate experiencing a warm, pleasant buzz. But if you're really lucky, you'll pass out by 10 o'clock and won't have to listen to the closing statements. Cheers!"