I went back to Ohio last week to see the family and was unsurprised to find out that airport security is still terrible.

If you're flying on Continental Airlines and you see "SSSS" in the lower right-hand corner of your ticket, then congratulations, you're subject to a "secondary search." The only way I know that this is what "SSSS" means is because the TSA screener at the very beginning of the security checkpoint -- the one who gives you the okay on your boarding pass -- missed the secondary search and waved me through to a normal line. The second screener -- who is about ten feet away -- saw it and escorted me to the secondary line, circling "SSSS" at the bottom and letting the first screener know that she had missed it.

A secondary search is actually a search for explosives residue. You must walk into a machine that blows air over you and then analyzes the results, to determine whether or not you had explosives residue on you. The machine looks very expensive and was made by GE. I'll be sure to buy more of their stock.

Then, you are escorted to a table where a TSA screener goes through your carry-on items and swabs them for explosives residue with a little piece of paper that he puts into a machine that does an instant explosives residue check. The screener swabbed the inside of my carry-on bags (taking care to use a different little paper every time) and took special care with my electronics. Note that "care" doesn't mean that he didn't handle them so as not to break them. No, "care" here means that he was extra-interested in electronics. I had two cell phones, an iPod, and a laptop among my carry-on and pocket items. He swabbed each of these separately, especially in the connector openings. It occurred to me that, based on this security check, the TSA labors under the impression that explosives can be hidden only in electronic devices. I had an Altoids container and a toiletry bag in my carry-on luggage. He pulled out neither to examine it more closely. The Altoids container could have been just as likely as my cellular phone to contain explosives. Moreover, he didn't examine the toiletry bag to make doubly sure it didn't contain any lethal liquids or gels.

Why give electronics special attention? If they feel as though a detonator or other device can be hidden only in electronics, why swab them? A detonator contains no explosive parts. Unless they think that it could contain regular old explosives. But why not swab everything that could potentially contain an explosive? Also, it is patently absurd to think that only an electronic device could contain a detonator. It would be more easily hidden, but it could have been in the Altoids container. Also, he never asked me to turn any of the devices on to prove that they were really the electronics they appeared to be.

What was accomplished during this secondary search? We learned that I didn't have any explosives residue on my person or on my stuff. We paid special attention to electronic devices, while ignoring the non-electronic devices that could have just as easily contained explosives. (For the record, I didn't bring any explosives.) We didn't check the electronics to make sure that they weren't detonators, and we didn't check my toiletries to make sure I didn't have any liquids or gels.

I was prompted to write this after reading this story at The Consumerist about a new TSA pilot program in which you will have to remove all the electronics from your carry-ons and place them in a separate bin. When I go to Ohio for my annual Christmas trip, I take a lot of electronics. I can't imagine how pulling all of the electronics out of my bag will "speed up the screening of carry on-baggage," especially if I have to rifle through everything to find the various electronics.

Even with the TSA cheating on their exams, airports aren't necessarily safer.