I.08

<|| SNN HEADLINE NEWS ||>
Vol. I No. 8

In our quest to bring you the truth, the partial truth, and nothing but the truth, we will forgoe the regular stories and be daringly different--by devoting this issue to the election

<|| THE CANDIDATES
Thus far, there are three candidates for the election -- incumbent Greg "because I said so" Hertzsch, who has served two previous scandal-ridden terms in office; newcomer Mike "a heart of targ in every replicator" Bourdaa; and Bob Hope.

<|| GREG "STOP ON A DIME" HERTZSCH
Veteran candidate Greg "Funny name here" Hertzsch has had quite a couple of terms for himself. Between the WeBB and the STF Chats, he gets an "A" for achievement. In fact, this electronic periodical, at gunpoint, endorses Hertzsch for the presidency.

<|| MIKE "WE LIKE MIKE" BOURDAA
He's going to have a hard time in this one, especially without the support of SNN Headline News, which holds very little sway in the political skating rink. His policy is the academy--more of it! More relevance! More coffee! He is also accused of "WeBB bashing" for saying, in his 25 June 1998 address, ". . . the ratio of experienced to inexperienced members is MUCH more favorable here." WeBBers attempted to egg his shuttlecraft, but consistently missed, due to their inexperience.

<|| BOB "I'M NOT DEAD YET" HOPE
No information yet. This person may not even exist.

<|| WHY DIDN'T I RUN?
Simply put, It's just too big a job. Officially, though, I'm not running because I believe I'd be more valuable ridiculing the winner as a representative of the media and being biased (no "Brill's Content" for me) towards one side or another.

<|| LET'S END IT ALL
Elections are over on 28 June 1998. We here at SNN Headline News hope we gave you something to ponder over. Just to remind you, we formally support incumbent Greg "Save the children!" Hertzsch for the dicat . . . I mean presidency of STF. Get out and vote--it's the only way to choose your leader (aside from selectively killing the people you don't like.)