"When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping"
 

<|| OUR TOP STORY
After firing questions one after the other at STF Command officers, thereby severly wounding some present, our correspondents have discovered that yes indeed Captain Mark "Paper or Kevlar?" Wilson will remain the CO of now-Fleet 1 ship USS Victorious.

<|| THE SEEDY SIDE OF STF
When months of scandal and controversy surrounded the McParty, SNN HEADLINE NEWS brought you the story of STF's secret love affair with the WeBB.  Now, SNN Headline News Grand Poobah Mark "Extra kidneys, please" Wilson has delved into the dark, feculent world of the WeBB.  Discovering it
wasn't as feculent as it was cracked up to be, Wilson decided to stay and join the McParty.  He tells us that he may even join one of the many churches available (perhaps the Sisko Temple).

<|| BEWARE THE HEADLINE NEWS
As it comes to the WeBB!  On Stardate 9817.08 (that's 98081.7 to you WeBBers with your "unique" stardate system), SNN HEADLINE NEWS published its first WeBB edition.  STF Personnel Director Greg "Mmm...spongy!" Hertzsch welcomed Wilson to the party, then quietly shooed him out
the back door.  No one was harmed in the following bob for apples.

<|| WE'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE
for stepping on the toes of STF President Mike "Laughing Sal" Bourdaa and SNN Executive Editor Mike "My spider sense is tingling!" Ballway for our outrageous comments in the last issue of SNN HEADLINE NEWS.  We only said them because we feared we'd lost our command position.

<|| SNN HEADLINE NEWS NO. 14
is chock full of good things, like sugar and spice and strychnine.  We'd like to remind you to drink Coca-Cola.  Always refreshing, always Coca-Cola.

(c) 1998 Zaphod Beeblebrox Productions, Ltd.

Zaphod Beeblebrox Productions, Ltd. is a subsidiary of The
Ford Prefect Company, Chicago.
 

(C) 1998 The Ford Prefect Co. Chicago