"When news breaks, we fix it"

<|| OUR TOP STORY
I had just downloaded a copy of mIRC, that oh-so-fun chatting program, upon the advice of STF Personnel Director Greg "It ain't gonna rain no more" Hertzsch, assuming there would be a gala event going on.  Unfortunately, a gala event was the last thing that happened, and I sat there
for an hour.  Colin "Stripped" Wyers was the only person I recognized from STF to grace the place.  I asked several people when Greg "Polly want some cyanide" Hertzsch would be there, and they gave me a slew of names.  Bourdaa, Hertzsch, and one person who said, quote, "Ballway never
shows up," unquote.  Are these the promisekeepers that hold STF office?  And would we trust some who "never shows up" to be Executive Editor of a periodical that does the same thing?  You bet!  Because in a democracy, incompetency in public officials is a sure thing.

<|| SO LONG VICKY, HELLO VICKY!
In a speech that brought tears to the people with tear ducts, Fleet 1 Commander Dennis "Tomato?  Tomato? Let's call the whole thing off!" Hannigan welcomed the USS Victorious to Fleet 1 with slightly ajar arms.  In his speech, he said that Fleet 1 wasn't fun in games, and that it was first in war, first in peace, and first in line for the buffet.  We agree!

<|| SNN HEADLINE NEWS NO. 15
conatained the following:
scandal, appreciation, and food!

(C) 1998 Zaphod Beeblebox Prodcutions, Ltd.