<|| SNN HEADLINE NEWS ||>
Vol. I             No. 16
 
"Mmm...beefy!"
 
<|| OUR TOP STORY
With many tears and more than enough ticker tape, SNN Update, the diamond-still-in-the-rough of STF's vast propaganda empire, ceased production today, 26 August 1998.  A crowd numbering in the dozens picketed outside SNN Galactic Headquarters at 1 SNN Center, protesting the end of arguably the best damn electronic periodical ever to grace P$.  They ranted, raved, and displayed signs saying "Bring Back SNN Update" and "Hell No, We Won't Scuba-dive."  Even more important is that the protesters were run over by the floats and the huge crowd that gathered outside the building. SNN Executive Editor Mike "Smells like goat milk" Ballway came out from his lurkem on top of his store to bid farewell to everyone out there in Computer Land.
 
<|| A MOMENT FOR ME
We've spoofed and we've infringed upon the rights of everyone in STF at least twice (if anyone was left out, write to us here at "Headline News" and we'll insult you in the next edition) and now we say goodbye to an institution - an STF institution started many years ago by Mike "Yes, we have potatoes" Ballway when he was but a lonely patent clerk working in the dungeons of SNN Center.  Now it leaves us, but we'll always remember SNN Update when we read "SNN Headline News," or "WeBBSights" as they're both a spin-off of the real and true political satire of "SNN
Update."  From all of us here at "Headline News," who are the same people who work at "Update," we bid Chairman Ballway a heartfelt goodbye.
 
<|| WAIT! THE ISSUE'S NOT OVER!
So what does this mean for you and me?  Well, for me it means getting Ballway's big office at the top of the building, and it means having a monopoly over P$ electronic periodicals.  Sure, there's other news to deal with this week, but we thought we'd save it for later, and devote this issue to SNN Update, truly STF's greatest loss since Jeff "Halleluyah!" Field retired.

=/\= SNN UPDATE =/\=
Issue 1 - 63
Mike "Inventor of the funny quotes" Ballway
 
<|| SNN HEADLINE NEWS no. 16
will never meet the still-shabby standards set by SNN Update, but we can try, by adopting its motto of "Quick, Informative, Totally Biased Reporting" of STF events, that is if Chairman Mike "Hoop-la" Ballway lets us.
 
Be sure to read the upcoming SNN Headline News special presentation "The Heroes of STF," which salutes those who struggled against dictatorship and oppression to get STF to where it is today...to less dictatorship, less oppression.
 
(C) 1998 The Ford Prefect Co, Chicago.