"Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!"

<|| OUR TOP STORY
Barraged with different amounts of varying advice on whether or not STF-P$ should remain active, STF President Mike "SYSOP" Bourdaa issued what could be construed as an edict this week when he decommissioned the fledgling USS Aurora and altered the programming schedules for USS Victorious and Ark Angel. Said Bourdaa, "This should help us beat NBC!"

<|| STF GREAT RETURNS
And something else, Mike Ballway is back!  After several months of gone-ness (?), he who would be court jester reappeared on P$.  You might recall that he took his final bow last spring when he moved to Holy Cross college in some state...I believe it's Maryland.  Currently, Ballway has
been assigned a CE-ship on USS Victorious.

<|| MORE PEOPLE ON THE WAY
It is believed that Mike Ballway's partner in crime, Larry "I put on the gas for Republicans" Garfield, will be joining the ranks of P$ elite soon...and coming to STF, as well.

<|| HAPPY HOLIDAYS
Yes, SNNHN would like to wish a Merry Holiday Season to both of you Avid(R) readers out there.  And if you can, drop by STF-WeBB and pick up a copy of "WeBBSights" which includes,among other things, a special presentation from your friends at "Headline News."

<|| WE BRAKE FOR STOP SIGNS
In the interest of sounding stressed, we mention that each issue could be our last, as P$ falls farther and farther into that Porta-Potty outside the President's office.
Interesting, though, how members who didn't originate on P$ are coming here anyway, to check out the atmosphere and excellent BB system.  If you'd like to purchase a copy of our concentrated Journalistic Motto, send $5 to "Quick, Informative, Totally Biased Reporting" of STF Events c/o SNN Headline News, 515 SNN Center, Chicago IL 60652.  You need not give your name.
Coming up next time...Seamus "News" Hughes tells us about his plastic surgery to make him look more like Barry Manillo, and Barry Manillo talks about his plastic surgery to make him look more like Seamus Hughes.

(C) 1998 The Ford Prefect Co, Chicago