I.23

<|| SNN HEADLINE NEWS ||>
Vol. I No. 23

"We have not yet begun to eat!"

<|| OUR TOP STORY
In what can only be called a "top story" by the most respected sources (we made some outside-SNN calls), STF President Mike "Star Trek 4(2 - 1 1/2): The Math of Khan" Bourdaa has grabbed his presidential duffle bag and hightailed it out of the club for a week. Due to circumstances well within his control (and others', we suspect), Bourdaa has named none other than FComm-2 and SNN Executive Corned Beef Mike "Saving FAdm Phelps" Ballway as the aPrez. And due to what can only be a clerical error, STF's resident Marxist-in-training (and FComm-6) Colin "Star Trek: The Stationary Picture" Wyers has been thrust into the position of aVeep. This has been a plot, perpetrated no doubt by exPrez Ken "MarkEtherNet" Marklan! Yes, this is an obvious attempt at once again confusing the hell out of STF (see Veterans for details on the Command Crisis).

<|| PROPOSAL PLACED BY aPREZ
STF acting President and SNN Kaiser Mike "I'm not a bun, you blockhead!" Ballway wrote up a two-part proposal calling for an immediate purge of the current cabinet (look on the back of page 3!) and a list of demands he wants met if a merger should go through. Among them is no change in government or booting of members, as well as a helicopter full of cash on the roof of the SNN building in 20 minutes. Like STF can afford a helicopter!

<|| THE WeBB REPORT
By R.B. Pendleton
Current eyewitness reports indicate that all is too quiet on the WeBB front, as people return to their places of business after a long and uneventful holiday vacation. This just in: noted STF traitors Steve "Julius" Ashton and Deanne "Ethel" Rosen...er, Morgan, have announced their plans for marriage, STF style! A date has not been set for the real wedding, but Church of Sisko Cardinal Larry "Pretenseki" Garfield married their characters on the lovely play-world of Crell. Look for more WeBB reports next time on "The WeBB Report!"

<|| TOM BOSLEY, COME HOME!
So ends another thrilling episode of "SNN Headline News," P$'s only source for information of any kind, other than government-sponsored pamphlets...which are great reading, by the way.
Now we inform the masses that their one and only liquidated Journalistic Motto is, has been, and has been, er, will be, "Quick, Informative, Totally Biased Reporting" of STF Events.
Trot back next time for another WeBB report and more of our good old-fashioned family fun, here on "Let's Make A..." or rather, "$25,000 Py..." no, we mean, "Wheel...of...Fo..." Aw, forget it!