Introduction

Every once in a while, a story is written that makes us think, really think. It is a story that is remembered throughout the ages and is very intelligent in nature.

This story, then, must be satirized.

In the tradition of the Starfleet News Network, SNN Headline News and WeBBSights are shamed to present the complete mockery of Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol." But it won't be mocked alone. No, many members of STF will turn red (or green, depending on your species) when they read this. Some of you won't be offended at all, despite our best efforts to do so. Any way you read, we hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed reading it, too.

[Note to Cast Members ridiculed (especially Mike Ballway & Colin Wyers: Nothing personal. It's a joke!]

[Note to Readers: At Colin Wyers' request, no jokes have been made about his political orientation, so don't be too disappointed.]

The story is divided, like "A Christmas Carol," into five Staves. We recommend that you begin with Stave I, since that is the beginning.

Notes on this Version

Since the publication of A SNN Christmas Carol in 1998, technology has advanced beyond the limitations of the Microsoft FrontPage where this was originally written. As such, we decided to go back and re-format the whole thing for CSS, since it's just easier that way.

While we were doing this, we found a few errors and corrected them. This new version is the same text as the old version, sans typos, misspellings, and other nasties that make us look more incompetent than we are (and we added the neat "justify" feature of CSS, which makes this look much more professional and gives the impression that we know what we're doing).

This has not been updated for the modern STF. Many people may not have the foggiest idea what a "Colin Wyers" or a "Mike Cathcart" is. There are also some jokes that newer STFians won't understand (Seamus-kicking? I thought he was a rather respected STF president?). That's okay. All you need to know is that these were eccentric folks, and their eccentricities are displayed in this volume. And now, please enjoy this lovely revision of A SNN Christmas Carol.